Recently I’ve had a change of heart. I’ve realised how long it can take to recover from something like anxiety. Although that hasn’t stopped me wanting to recover, it has made me change the way I think about my anxiety.
I’ve decided to view it as a blessing, rather than a curse. What good does it do to only see the negatives in life? Over the years, anxiety has done me quite a few favours, you may be surprised to hear. But when I think about it, anxiety has sometimes been my friend. It was sleepless nights that made me read countless books. It was the fear of failure that pushed me to work hard for exams and school work. It was fear of pain that stopped me going anything potentially dangerous. It was pure fear that stopped me taking that shortcut in the dark. Anxiety pushed me to find better friends when the ones I had were doing stupid things. Anxiety made me realise that my family is SO important and, as morbid as it sounds, I need to appreciate them while I can.
So yes, it’s an inconvenience. Sometimes it’s truly awful and hideous to cope with. But I think, for now at least, I’m willing to cope with that.